The Hammer

It’s a bad feeling to realize you’ve completely wasted your college existence.  I spent 6 years in college paid a lot of money, and sat through an amazing number of hours of coursework to be HERE.

I went into education with goals, and dreams, and ideals.  Those are all crushed now.   I was moved to this location, and for the lack of any other job in the district I had to come here, or risk raising a family without a job.   I tried 2 different times to go back to a school where I felt like I would be better matched.    They wouldn’t let me.   I’m now stuck here trying to overcome 80% of the kids who don’t want to be here in order to try and reach the 20% who do (sort of) just try getting your point across to 4 kids in a room of 20 where 16 of them are trying to avoid paying attention any way possible.

Each year I avoid writing referrals on students as long as possible.   In the beginning of the year I’m usually in a better mood (usually) and have more patience.  I’m also never pleased with the results in discipline, so I just avoid writing them.  Each year, at some point, my limits reach critical mass, and I snap….then I write referrals at every opportunity possible.   Not only do I want to punish the kids for being disrespectful, and hold them accountable for their poor choices, I also want to bury the admin with paperwork.    This is a problem directly resulting in the way things are run, and because of such….the issues will be dealt with.

I refuse to show up to work and be disrespected.  Therefore, I bring the hammer down from the point I’ve had enough until the end of the year.

I wrote 18 referrals in the past 2 days, and aim to do as many as it takes until my classroom is peaceful.

The ultimate point is that I never went to school for this.    I run a holding pen for the kids that disrupt the “traditional” high schools.  They are sent here to make learning possible for others both student and teacher.    I’m a warden.  Not what I went to school for

If I spent all 30 years here, I will have sacrificed almost 40,000 hours of life doing something that caused me grief.