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Year 4 Day 22- Art Get Mad, Art Get Strong

by admin on September 18th, 2006


Monday came and went with little to no issue. I would classify it as boring. Sometimes boring is good though. For the most part all the kids were well behaved, and put forth good effort. These days are rare. Most days SOMEONE tries something stupid, not today. Today’s only excitement was that the OH enrolled in our little criminals program, or community day as we call it ‘officially’. He’ll be OK there. He’s used to the work, and the social interaction is going to be good for him… although I bet the 8am start time is going to be his end, considering he hasn’t been awake at 3 when I’d show up. I actually bet that either A) he never shows up regularly, gets sent to the court school, and drops out of life for a couple years only to resurface here in 2 years. Or B) his social ineptness causes a meltdown, and he fights a kid, or teacher.

My weekend was too short. I watched way too much television capped off by yesterdays NFL tragedies. Bad games all around, except the Philly/NYG game. I did get to watch Art Shell’s news conference though, and that was worth everything. I know it’s fashionable to make fun of Art Shell, but come on. I think he may have take too many lumps in his prime… I think he’s retarded now. I think America is having a good time making fun of someone who is legit “special needs” I think Art Shell needs an IEP. I bet he has one. He needs an aide, someone to explain questions to him and then help him. Here’s how I picture a typical post game conference to go… with the new IEP Art Shell.

Art rolls up to the podium in his mechanical wheel chair. (Come on, you know you’d have more sympathy for him and his situation if he were in a wheel chair.) His aide takes the microphone

[Aide] Hell everyone, Art will be taking a few questions about today’s game… he’s very sleepy, and needs his nap, and his medication soon… so only a few guys.
[Art] Hello. How’s it going!!!!
[media] Hello Art!!!
[Art] Art’s sorry he lost.
[Reporter #1] Art, your quarterback was sacked 47 times today… what happened with the offensive line?
[Aide to Art] Art. They want to know why Aaron got hurt.
[Art] Art’s sorry… Aaron and Art are friends. We tried some stuff, it not work, we try real hard more times… Art drew pictures to help. He even listened to nice music in headphones.
[Reporter #2] Art, you were an O-lineman in the NFL, how does it make you feel to see this happen?
[Aide to Art] Art, they want to know if you would have let that happen when you played football.
[Art] No Art was bigger… and nobody hurt his friends.
[Art] Art, what do you work on this week in practice?
[Aide to Art] Art, they want to know what you’re going to try this week to get better?
[Art] I’m sorry, I done tried real good. Art will sleep, and think more later.
[Aide] Thank you all for coming, it’s time for Art to nap.

My point is that if tomorrow, there were a press conference, and it were announced that Art Shell had been hit too many times, and he was operating at the mental capacity of a 7 year old. Everyone would be like,’oooooh my gosh, that’s sooooo sad he tried so hard. The poor guy’s mentally challenged now.’ Everyone would back off him, and he could go back to playing golf or whatever.

Note to Art. This would work. America would have no problem believing you’re retarded. Get an Aide, a wheelchair, and refer to yourself in the 3rd person… .and you can make all the pain go away.

Other note my principal told me to keep kids from writing on my desk, and then compared me to another teacher who ‘doesn’t’ have kids write on their desks. 1) He has tables with dark wood tops, harder to SEE writing, so no use to write on them. 2) He cleans his desks daily.
3) He has PE 4 periods of 5, his kids aren’t there.
I just don’t like to be compared to other people.

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