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Year 4 Day 10- blood force trauma

by admin on August 30th, 2006

The blood has been drawn out of our students. They must be somewhat desperate for blood. The kids always ask me, “WHY don’t you give blood?”

Here’s my reply, officially…

First off… I comprehend the fact it saves lives. I’m not against that… but it’s going to take more than juice, cookies, and a rag to wear while I paint to get my blood. If I’m giving blood, I’ll go for the free movie passes at the local multi-plex, over juice and cookies. Here’s what it will take to get my blood.

1) Dire need from a family member or friend… good friend.
Or all of the following…
1) Systems like in place like this; something crossing adopt a child and UPS. I want a tracking number, I can call and find out WHERE my blood is at a given time… then when it goes into another human… I want that information too. It’s my blood. Shouldn’t I get a picture of the human now holding it? When you sponsor a starving child for the price of a cup of coffee, you get pictures of him or her right? Progress reports, updated letters, etc.. Isn’t you BLOOD worth more? If someone has your blood shouldn’t you be allowed to follow their progress? So you can be like, “My blood went to a man hit by a train, now he’s currently working on a cure for lymphoma, see here’s his picture on my fridge… His name is Frank.”
2) A pair of movie tickets
3) A free pizza coupon/ pint of Ice Cream
4) Free T-shirt.

That’s it… That gets my blood.

Today we gave a new school record for pints today… I guess that’s good. There was no pizza to be had for me… so that was bad. My grade for the overall success of the drive- D-. My support for other donors can only be bought by pizza.

Kids were in and out all day… I pretty much gave up on accomplishing anything of real substance. It was a- show up, do something, don’t friggin’ bleed on me type of day. The kids all ran like hungry hyenas as soon as the pizza showed up. THEY get pizza… I get nothing. I even left my lunch at home today for pizza… I ALWAYS GET PIZZAon blood drive days. I don’t give blood, but I endure the madness and inconveniences all day… thusly, deserving pizza as well.

Today ended though, as it tends to do… Kids at a school like this are SO easily distracted even more so when they are a pint of blood short, it amazes even me. Let’s follow the conversation that happened in my Economics class today.

[captain] So, in a command economy… who makes the decisions on what is produced.
[kid 1] The government or whatever…
[captain] good. Now…in a Market economy who answers that question?
[kid 2] Would you ever wear crochet’ underwear?
[captain] Uh… .probably not.
[kid 1] WTF dude? What kind of question is that?
[kid 2] no because… it’d be so easy to pee… just something I thought about..
[kid 3] it’d scratch the s**t out of you..that’d SUUUUUCK!!!
[kid 2] Well I think it might not… but-
[captain] It’d depend on if it were crocheted out of string or yarn… WAIT. Back to the topic.
[kid 3] anyone want a caramel?

It’s not a surprise that It takes me 2x as long to complete a chapter.

For the record…I named my computer. It was a name born out of necessity it’s being called–yousonofabitch.

because that’s what I end up saying to it all the time.

“Hey come on..what’s GOING ON? YOU SON OF A BITCH. WORK!”

“OH I’d LOVE to get that done, but this son of a bitch won’t work right now.”

“GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO youosnofabitch..”

That happens 45 times a day.

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One Comment
  1. Paco permalink

    Captain… did you realized that your blog has funny character all over it? It’s very hard to read now.

    You might want to notify Eduardo.

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