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Year 5- Yummy

by captain on December 5th, 2007

I had some fun today…

One of the new trends in our school is chewing tobacco.   The kids get their “fix” while maintaing their innocent demeanor, 75% of the teachers aren’t LOOKING for chew…so they get away with it.

I’ve played enoough sports to pick out a chewer pretty easily.  There’s 4 of them in one class who all “dip”  and today I got one of them.  The kid is already on the radar for misbehaving.  A referral for chewing in class would land him in the neighborhood of about 5 hours detention, and a possible suspension….all would NOT be good for him. 

He was chewing, and had a little bottle of powerade he was using as a spit cup.  Here’s how that played out.

[Captain]  Hey ________ you wouoldn’t be chewing in MY classroom would you?

[Gums] Uh….no…no…

[Captain] Good…because I’d have to give you a referral.

[Gums] …

[Captain] Hey _____ why don’t you do me a favor, that powerade seems to be distracting, and there’s only about 1/4 of it left…go ahead and drink that up….because I know that’s not a spit cup…because you said you weren’t chewing…

[Gums] Drink it?  you want me to drink it?

[Captain] yup, just chug it all down, and throw it away….

[Gums] *looking at his powerade bottle*

[Captain] Oh, so you were chewing…OK, I’ll write the referral.

The kid didn’t hesitate too much longer, and just chugged his luke warm tobacco spit….

The class erupted in gagging noises, and shock.  I informed the remaining chewers that even though ______ was clear of his his referral, the next time I suspected anyone of chewing I was going to write the referral, and not even tell them.

I heard later the kid wasn’t feeling good.

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  1. Eewwwwwwwwwwww. I so wish I hadn’t read this while I was eating lunch. Nicely played, though, dude.

  2. Sam permalink

    you are a total dick for making him drink that spit!!! he could die of tabacco poisioning!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHA

    this totally made my day, i almost peed myself laughing!!!

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