Year 5- Yummy
I had some fun today…
One of the new trends in our school is chewing tobacco. The kids get their “fix” while maintaing their innocent demeanor, 75% of the teachers aren’t LOOKING for chew…so they get away with it.
I’ve played enoough sports to pick out a chewer pretty easily. There’s 4 of them in one class who all “dip” and today I got one of them. The kid is already on the radar for misbehaving. A referral for chewing in class would land him in the neighborhood of about 5 hours detention, and a possible suspension….all would NOT be good for him.
He was chewing, and had a little bottle of powerade he was using as a spit cup. Here’s how that played out.
[Captain] Hey ________ you wouoldn’t be chewing in MY classroom would you?
[Gums] Uh….no…no…
[Captain] Good…because I’d have to give you a referral.
[Gums] …
[Captain] Hey _____ why don’t you do me a favor, that powerade seems to be distracting, and there’s only about 1/4 of it left…go ahead and drink that up….because I know that’s not a spit cup…because you said you weren’t chewing…
[Gums] Drink it? you want me to drink it?
[Captain] yup, just chug it all down, and throw it away….
[Gums] *looking at his powerade bottle*
[Captain] Oh, so you were chewing…OK, I’ll write the referral.
The kid didn’t hesitate too much longer, and just chugged his luke warm tobacco spit….
The class erupted in gagging noises, and shock. I informed the remaining chewers that even though ______ was clear of his his referral, the next time I suspected anyone of chewing I was going to write the referral, and not even tell them.
I heard later the kid wasn’t feeling good.
Eewwwwwwwwwwww. I so wish I hadn’t read this while I was eating lunch. Nicely played, though, dude.
you are a total dick for making him drink that spit!!! he could die of tabacco poisioning!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHA
this totally made my day, i almost peed myself laughing!!!