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Year 5 If you need snappy comebacks, I got your back.

by captain on October 25th, 2007

One thing I’ve learned in my time at continuation school is to develop a nice array of witty comeback to let kids know how bad their work is.

Here’s a few, feel free to use them.

1. 

[Kid]  How does this look? 

[Captain] Lindsay Lohan thinks your project has issues.

[Kid] So not good?

[Captain] Let’s put it this way…I saw the enquirer in the hall looking for your project.

2.

[Kid]  Does my project look like crap?

[Captain] No.

[Kid] Really?

[Captain]  It looks like craps next door neighbor.

3.

[Kid]  Does this look OK?

[Captain] You need to move your paper…

[Kid] move it?

[Captain] Yeah, quick…move it off your desk.

[Kid] Ok…why?

[Captain] Because I’m going to throw up.

That’s just three I’ve used this week…you can rock these little beauties if you need the perfect saying to really hit home on how a childs lack of effort is getting to you.

We had a minor altercation on campus too.  Two girls almost fought.  They didn’t like each other too much prior to being in PE together, then, during PE one girl was defending the other too closely in basketball…and fisticuffs nearly erupted.  It wasn’t Knicks/Heat…but it was better than nothing.

I’m not sure what the girls were thinking, it’s defense.  You can’t rightly play it from across the gym.  There’s a degree of closeness involved.  Plus I don’t see how you can get upset over a skill neither of the particpants have in the first place.

One of my TAs photocopied my study guide sheets out of order…that made class interesting. 

[Captain] Page 2 of section 1, is on the back side of section 3, which is the 5th page in the packet….let’s find that.  Waiting…everyone there? No?  5th page….that’s after 4th page…Everyone there.  No…it’s on the back of Section 3 page 1…yeah…5th page….just count 5 pages in…see where it says Chapter 9 section 3….page two of section 1 is on the back of that…yeah. good.

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