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Year 4—–wrap up

by admin on June 7th, 2007

This is it. Year 4 is in the books. I’ve cleaned my room. I’ve stocked the books. I’ve done what needs to be done. I even had a test ready for anyone who was dumb enough to show up today. Nobody did.

They are smarter than you think.

One final thought about graduation…actually two thoughts.

1) I didn’t find the f-bomb on youtube yet.

2) I actually realized something on my way to school today. I was wondering why we have so many kids who get so emotional, or just plain loopy in their farewell speeches. I think I get it. The kids here come from worlds few people can really understand. They have, in all reality, the worst home situations imaginable. Divorce, abuse, drugs, molestation, crime, etc….these are all evident in their homes.

For the past 13 years, school has been the only stable thing in their lives. Granted, many of them took 12.5 years to realize it was the most stable thing they had, but they all realized it. When that reality finally sank in…so did the fear. They have NO idea what they’re going to do next. For them, graduation is a step into the unknown…for real. When I graduated, and many people I know graduated….fear wasn’t something that I felt. I think deep down we all knew we’d be ok. No matter what happend, we’d be fine. When I graduated, at the time, I had nobody in my family with a college degree. Still, both my parents worked, and were what I would consider to be educated people. I felt safe at home…I didn’t have any of the other random crap I mentioned going on…so, I felt like no matter what…I’d be ok.

The kids here, in a lot of cases…are going to be totally alone. The parents are kicking them out, there is no college life ahead of them. Thye’ve got to go to work full time. The stability of having lunch, and friends, and teachers who care enough to say ‘hi’ is gone…and they’ve got no clue how to deal with it.

School actually does matter to these kids, it matters a lot more than either I or they really ever acknowledge.

Year in Review.

Productivity wise, this year kicked some serious rear. I won the award I had been voting for myself to win for the past 6 years. I didn’t even vote this year. We won the best in show for our county out of all high schools in art. I had a good review. I feel like I got a lot accompliished in making study guides for my economics class. We played two seasons of softball. I put forth effort to get to know the kids, and try to be better this year than I was last year. I feel like I accomplished all the goals I had set for myself this year, and beyond.

Personally my life was a rollercoaster, but that turned out great too.

When I glance back at the year, it went by so quick…quicker than any other. (Duh…that’s always the case) When I really step back and look at what happend the past school year, it feels like 4 years.

I’m so blessed to have gotten through a year like this for the better. It was a year like I had personally that would have pushed the kids here over the edge. I just have a better support system.

I don’t really have the school memories I do in the past. This year I will rmember the f-bomb at graduation. I’ll remember the Sacramento trip. The art projects I saw. Having two really good TA’s first period who helped make mornings really worth being here. I’ll hold fondly the letters from a substitute teacher with masters degrees in physics who couldn’t do what I do.

In the future i’ll look back on being denied a transfer for a second time by the other high school as the point where I decided to stay here for the long haul. This may be the year where I finally face the fact I AM a continuation teacher, and I will be for a long time. I was put here for a reason…and while ,I at times, tend to think myself better than this place…I will be remembered for this place. While the kids who graduated were afraid of life beyond this place…I think in some ways, I am also afraid to try life away from here. This place is safe. I like it here.

How odd is that to write?

Well, I hope you and yours have a great summer…I’ll pop in a bit over the summer…with any reportings I might have…but for now the Captain has switched off the fasten seatbelt light, and you’re now free to move about your summer.



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