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Year 4 Day 55- Here comes the rain again, falling on my head like a memory

by admin on November 2nd, 2006

That song makes no sense. Yet, somehow when the rainy season starts, I can’t help but think of it. The rains have begun for the year. It’s nice to use the heater again. I miss the smell it lets out after it hasn’t been used for a few months. It’s like a torched rodent mixed with peanuts.

So even though I had my counseling appt. I’m still a stressed out jerk. It did help, but DOING what was advised is the hardest part. As a male, my natural tendency lies with fixing things when they’re messed up. When it’s broke, I naturally tend to think that the more I work, the quicker it will fix itself. (In this case, for those of you don’t know, it’s a marriage thing) Now I’m being told to NOT fix things…to back off. Well, I still need to fix myself, but don’t put too much pressure on her to change.

Now I’m in this ‘try really hard sometimes, then don’t try other days… just mix it up’ approach. I’m trying to look at it like football. Sports analogies help everything. You can’t blitz every down, otherwise you’re going to lose. You need to scheme, have a plan. My problem is that my offensive and defensive coordinators are both me. I feel like I.m wandering around with the Art Shell face on all day long.

Yesterday was suppossed to be a “blitz” or try hard day. (See, I’m making a random schedule..just by marking a calendar with a yes or no…then randomizing it.) I ended up getting sick with the flu and puking out my window. Needless to say, the night ended early. Although I was doing well I thought up to that point. Tonight will be what I refer to as “taking a knee” I won’t try, I’ll just be there. From now on, when I refer to my current struggles, it will all be in football analogies. .

much easier that way.

Why do I share my life struggles here? I find it helpful to just deal with it in writing. It helped me get from where I was professionally 4 years ago, to where I am now. It can’t hurt this either

This whole new philosophy I’m working on is making work a little bit tough. Which is also why I mention it here. I’m trying to devise this gameplan outside work, that is hard to adjust to…which makes me REALLY “fun” at work some days.

There’s a line in the Bible that says, “Be still and know that I am God.” I know this in my heart. It’s the Bible verse that I keep going to, keeps popping in my head, and that other people keep throwing my way..I somehow always tend to see it as, “Be a spastic, and know that I am God.” I’m hping by writing down that I’ll realize I need to settle down some…ok, settle down a lot.

Here’s to Madden 2007, the vehicle that will keep me from trying too hard to save my marriage. The more I play on “take a knee” days, the less I’ll be pestering my wife to pay attention to me. I bet that this may be the first time Madden will be able to say he helped a marriage with this video game.

I threw out one of my “favorite” students yesterday. I’d just had it with her attitude. When I told her to get to work, she informed me,

[Princess] I’ll get started when ever I feel like I want to get started.
[Captain] Well how about you get started finding a new place to sit…you need to leave.
[Princess] Are you serious? I AM going to work…I just haven’t started yet.
[Captain] Yeah, I’m serious…you need to leave. Have a good day.
[Princess] That’s some bull****

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