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Year 2 Day 94-Medical Miracles

by admin on January 24th, 2005

I have some recent developments.

I have a new kid in class, who is struggling. He’s just slow is all, painfully slow, Lenny from ‘Of Mice And Men’ slow. Today, I put it to him like this, when he said he was istupid.i I told him he’s not stupid, he just has a gross misunderstanding of tact. I asked the kids today iSo, did anyone do anything interesting over the weekend?i His answer, iI got drunk on Kessler, and Miler High Life. I smoked pot too.i

iUhm, I asked if anyone did anything INTERESTING, not illegal… i

iI don’t care…i

iObviously.i

Even my kids, who are usually very supportive of anything related to marijuana, were saying, iUhm, DUDE, I don’t think you should say things like that.i

iI dun’ care,i was his reply.

Again, it’s not stupidity so much as it is a horrible sense of appropriateness.

Anther example;

The class and I were comparing childhoods, and the differences between them. Back in my youth, we had to do stupid things like, igo outside and play.i I was letting them know what a huge development the Atari 2600 was, and informed them how the progression of video game technology had to have been lived through to really appreciate where it is today. In other words, if you didn’t grow up playing Combat, and Outlaw on the 2600, on a controller with one button, that may or may not have worked properly, you can in no way really appreciate what an awesome piece of technology a PS2 or X-box is.
The conversation led to discussions of other fun things kids did in their childhood, and we were in the process of agreeing that old pieces of cardboard made excellent sleds, when my new tactless student commented.

iI throw rocks at my neighbor’s house.i

Needless to say, this was met by a silent classroom. It was like he was E.F. Hutton.

I had no idea what to say. Thank goodness someone spoke for me.

iDid you slide down a hill on a box while doing it?i

iNo.i

iThen keep a lid on it!i

The kid is nearing 19 and about 50 credits away from graduation. I have NO idea how he got that close, seriously. The credit fairy must have visited him.

I was eating some chips the other day…

iHEY what you doin?i he said.

iEating Cheetos.i

iCan I have some?i

HUH? I was shocked, I mean, as openly as he discusses his pot habit, he was probably high as a kite, and would have eaten the whole bag. I had to deny him.
He asks everyday, if I’m snacking on something.

iCan I have some?i

iNO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.i

iI’m bored can I play games on the computer?i

iNo… not until you finish all your assignments.i

iI did 2 problems, but I’m bored, can I get on the computer?i

iNO.i

He told me today “I didn’t finish this packet yet…”
I just looked at it, he didn’t even start it. I’ll be bringing it up tomorrow.

He tried to tell us today that he’s on medical marijuana for sleep apnea.

iLet me get this straight… you have trouble breathing while you’re asleep, so your Dr. prescribed you something to make you sleepier? That makes a whole lot of sense.” Mybe he and the Portland Trailblazers have the same Doctor.

What a piece of work he is…but he IS interesting.

Everyday he feels the need to mention he’s going home to get drunk.

“I can’t wait until 2, I’n goin’ home an’ getin drunk'”

The other kids don’t quite know what to make of him yet. They always look at him like he’s giving away all the secrets of what they do after school, which is really funny. Apparently, they haven’t realized that they attend a continuation school, going home and doing homework is obviously something they’re NOT doing.

FIRE IN THE HOLE

We had a fire drill today. It was totally unexpected, and well, chaotic. Nobody ever told us where to go in case of a fire. There wasn’t a fire, thank God, because we’d have all burned. We’re fenced into such a small area, that we could practically touch the buildings we’d be trying to escape from.

I’m doing a recon mission today. I’m staying after for 30 minutes to see what happens when the iother kidsi come into my room.

It’s been 5 minutes so far, and I’ve already had it with them. They’re noisy, and isupervisedi by people with no teaching experience; totally ridiculous. I’m surrounded by a bunch of kids eating string cheese right now. What is it about kids who lack supervision, and string cheese? I think you can tell a lot about a kid based on whether or not they eat string cheese. My son won’t eat it. I seem to remember from my childhood that most kids who got into some sort of fight just got done eating string cheese. Someone needs to do a thesis on this.

I don’t think I can put up with anymore of this… I made it 15 mintues. I quit.

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2 Comments
  1. Eduardo permalink

    I dunno about the string cheese, but did notice a big surge in its popularity around the time when everyone’s mom started shopping at Costco. Even my mom used to get it fairly often. I believe that you may have even partaken of the string cheese at our house after school on a few occasions. I don’t recall if we were supervised or got into any mischief or trouble afterward, but maybe we did… hmm, you might have something here.

  2. Paco permalink

    Please don’t blame it on the string cheese. That fun simple cheese is innocent. That’s like blaming the cause for drunk driving on cars or booze.

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